Do You Want to Be Healed?

In one of my posts, I talked about my fear of having surgery on my nose.  I also mentioned how I needed to schedule my surgery in order to move forward in my relationship with God.  Remove my fear and trust Him!  Well I did!  However, my fear was removed after seeking Him and Him revealing to me whether it was His will to keep me on this earth or take me to be with Him.

While studying His Word, He revealed to me, He would restore my health….however, He could do that on this earth through this surgery or making me whole in Heaven.  So that wasn’t enough for my fear to be removed.

So I continued my study.  The Holy Spirit then took me to Deuteronomy 4:40.

Did you read that?!  Prolong my days upon the earth, which the Lord will give me!  It was His will for me to remain on this earth and continue to join Him in His work!  MY FEAR WAS GONE IN THAT MOMENT!    Perfect love casts out fear!

So I called to schedule my surgery, but was informed that the doctor I was seeing was retiring!  Really?!  After I chose to trust God and face my fears and now I have to find a new doctor!  However, the Holy Spirit reminded me that God’s Word also says in Psalm 21:3, the Lord prevents me with blessing.  So what did God have up His sleeve?!

I continued to trust the Lord and saw another doctor.  What do you know, this doctor was a believer in Jesus and said surgery wouldn’t be very painful.  No swelling or bruising.  God is so merciful and cares/loves me!

I finally scheduled my surgery and a week before I was supposed to have surgery, I got sick and had to reschedule.  A month went by and in the mean time I had given my sickness to my dad and he had given it back!  However, this time I was determined to have my surgery.  And praise the Lord I was well enough to have it.  People kept asking me if I was nervous and I really wasn’t.  God had spoken and I was going to choose to believe Him!  But don’t think for a moment Satan wasn’t there throwing doubt at me.  Did God really say that?  Just like He did to Eve in the Garden.  He questioned God and tempted Eve to believe God was misleading her.  But praise Him I chose to believe His Word and Truth because I experienced God in a way I never have!

I went back to prep for my surgery.  The nurses were asking me all these questions, putting my IV in, and then the waiting came for an available surgery room.  Laying there alone, with the curtain closed, just waiting, the Lord softly said to me:  “I’m still healing you.”

You see in John 5:1-18, Jesus comes across a man who has been sick for 38 years.  Jesus asks him, “Do you want to be healed?”  The man believed he couldn’t be healed, because he wasn’t able to get to the pool that would heal him, either because someone always got there before him or no one would help him.  He pitied himself and chose to remain sick.  Which is why Jesus asked him if he wanted to be healed, not could he help him to get to the pool.  With Jesus the man didn’t need the pool, he just needed the desire to be healed and voice to Jesus that he did indeed want to be healed.  However, in this man’s case Jesus just had mercy on him and chose to heal him, saying “Stand up, pick up your mat and walk!”

11 years ago, I told God I believed Jesus was His Son and I believed He died on the cross for my sins and asked Him to come into my life, show me a different way to live, and heal me. I grew up with an alcoholic step-father, who was verbally, mentally abusive and physically hit me once.  That one time caused a bone spur to start growing in my left nostril causing me major headaches for six years.  This surgery was part of God healing me from my past. Him telling me that He was still healing me was so comforting to know He is actively caring for me, His daughter.  I had never experienced Him be so gentle and comforting.  He cares enough about me to not only heal my emotional and mental parts of me, but what has damaged me physically.  I felt He had seen me.  Telling me, I’ve been with you all along, even then when I was hit, He was there and it mattered enough to Him to heal me from that trauma, both emotionally and physically.  Those words of His, I will never forget.  “I’m still healing you.”